Getting Behind and Catching Up

It is hard for me to stay on top of things. I always feel behind with money, with my blog, with the house and I often feel behind on exercise.

Sometimes the problem is that I expect too much of myself and don't budget enough time to get things done (house projects always take 3x more time than my most generous estimate).

But I've gotten better about budgeting time. So sometimes the problem is that something unexpected comes up or I am preoccupied with something else.

One great thing about having a full time 9-5 type job is that I have some regularity in my life. I typically know where I am going to be when on any given day of the week. So I need to work with that! All the things I have problems managing are things which happen over and over again on a regular basis: housework, exercise, writing, payday and billpay.

So: Here are some conclusions. This schedule doesn't leave a lot of time for chit chat or to be lazy but it also sets things up in a way that if I miss a day, it will only be a day, no harm done!

On workdays, at lunch, I will work on writing my web series

On workdays, after dinner, I will work on Singlutionary

On Saturdays and during family home evening I'll work on my postcards and other projects

On Sundays I will work on the house (cleaning, improvements, gardening)

It doesn't leave much time to rest but I do find working on the house to be somewhat restful.

In terms of money, I am going to try something new. Each time I get paid I'll pay things in this order:

1. All bills due within the next two weeks or that I've received statements for

2. My savings $50 per paycheck

3. Cash for food and stuff $50 per paycheck

4. Allow a $50 buffer in my checking account and pay EVERYTHING else toward my highest interest credit card. 

That way I will always have enough to pay for the things I need but when I do get a larger paycheck, the "bonus" will go towards debt and not get mysteriously gobbled up!

Hopefully once I get used to these routines I will start feeling "on the ball" instead of on this never ending cycle. 

Today Went OK

I began today with my new lifestyle and money-saving goals in mind. I did drive my car but I spent a lot of time paying attention to the things I would need to do differently when I ride my bike. I am going to ride my bike to work for the first time this Friday. Very exciting. 

After work I drove directly to the bank/grocery store where I spent 17 bucks on groceries most of which I cooked directly after I came home. But there is enough in there for at least 3 lunches through the rest of the week. So I've got that part covered at least. And I have an overly plentiful supply of cereal so I think I can make it a week without getting more groceries.

But most importantly, my main goal was to come home and be home. I wasn't thinking about how I'd rather be eating pizza or that I should be out and about. I'm just learning to be grateful for the simple things I have, like my house, my dog and my one-dish meals. I came home, talked to the dog, talked with my roommates and let the chickens out.

Now I have eaten, put the chickens to bed, cleaned the kitchen, set aside lunch for tomorrow and even talked to a friend on the phone. And its only 8:30. I now have plenty of time to relax with my Singlutionary blog. 

I do love being at home but our culture is so against it. I miss being in high school and being in college when we were too poor to go out all the time and everyone would just come over to hang out. I think that might also have a lot to do with living in quiet towns with nothing to do  . . . the home become the center of social engagement. The only problem is that I don't want to go to other people's houses. The pets have a lot to do with that. When I am done with work I want to come home and hang out with my dog. 

But when I was younger and dog free and lived in an apartment, I really enjoyed spending a lot of time at more "grown up" friend's houses. 

Anyways. So far my financial cutbacks have been a blessing and I am looking forward to carrying these blessings through out the week. We'll see how the whole bike ride thing goes. To be honest I am not looking forward to it at all. There are hills and I have a beat up old beach cruiser. I am going to have to get off that thing and walk in some parts with my head hung in shame.

Goals. Debt. Work.

I've been employed for a little over three months now. I have health insurance which is nice. But I also get $50 something taken out of every paycheck to pay for it. That wouldn't be that bad but I still don't have any kind of sick or vacation pay and the last holiday was before my 90 day period closed. So my last check was, uh, minimal. I am also dependent on bonuses which have slowed due to a slower season.

I am trying to find new ways to motivate myself at a job which I find a little bit boring but very much needed. I am trying to find ways to fight through the bullshit and be grateful and also feel rewarded.

Its hard to feel rewarded when you're in lots of debt. When I get a big bonus, I immediately put it towards my credit cards and I don't get to play with any of it. I want a new sofa, a vacation, a bed for my dog, a bed for me (I sleep on a twin mattress on top of another twin mattress) and I want to go camping sometime this year. Oh. And something needs to be done about my car who is older than I am and attains a new noise/problem every week (but still gets me from point A to point B-- most of the time -- thank goodness).

Like most folks who were out of work for a long time or who had to go back to work after being self employed (like I was) due to the economy, I have debt. Oodles of it. As of right now I have just over $40k in credit card debt. Yeah. So stop feeling so dreadful about yourself. I am pretty sure that I trump most people when it comes to debt. 

I didn't get this debt buying designer handbags. I paid the rent with it, invested in myself and in my future, invested in my house and took care of the basics. I just had more money going out than coming in for too many years.

I figure that if I am super frugal I can pay it all off in about 3.5 years. If nothing goes wrong. If I am able to keep earning what I am earning. If nobody gets sick, I don't miss any days of work and I never buy anything nice for myself. 

Sometimes I think about picking up more work but I really really don't want to sacrifice my health and my sanity. Plus, I already have my acting gigs which are pretty few and far between but that IS extra work and it derails my routine enough as it is. 

So. Two questions: how can I spend less and how can I reward myself for smaller things.

There aren't many places where I can cut back. I don't have a car payment (although I do have a car) but I can drive less and save on gas and maybe a bit on insurance. I can try and spend less on food and eat more frugally, quit drinking and never eat out. 

So. Here are my new goals, their timeframes and the rewards:

August-March: 

Goal: Ride my bike to work 4 out of 5 days a week. This will save me any gym membership fee (I already put mine on hold to save money) and will save me about $70/mo on gas.

Goal: Only eat at home, try and socialize at home as much as possible and no alcohol or sweets. Learn to cook and eat more frugally. This will save me about $100/mo  and maybe more.

Goal: Recommit to writing on Singlutionary and to writing in general in the hopes that I can lay the groundwork for another website which actually generates revenue. 

Reward: Pay off highest interest credit card. Save enough cash to go to India for my roommate's wedding. Use my vacation pay for the trip. Get fit and skinny in the name of debt reduction. 

Motivation: A once in a lifetime experience of attending a friend's Indian wedding and traveling to India (mostly) by myself (except for the wedding part).

April-June:

Goal: Find or create one additional source of income even if its really basic like dog walking or pet sitting or working Sundays someplace (I only have to do it for a few months which makes me feel better about it)

Goal: Save enough money to get my car fixed so I can quit riding my bike!

Reward: Not having to ride to work in 100% plus weather all summer. 

Motivation: Feeling like the end (of having sketch transportation and/or other financial trauma is in sight)

July-September:

Goal: Continue paying down debt at the same speed

Goal: Save enough money by trimming the fat in ALL possible places to buy a used faux leather sectional for my living room (way easier to get the dog hair off of and way better looking than a faded black futon and an even more faded loveseat with a torn slipcover). Oh. And buy a new dog bed for the poor dog (her current one is lumpy and has been mended twice). 

I LOVE this plan. It feels good and it feels do-able. But then I remember that in June I have a wedding that I have to fly to and in July I have a family reunion that I also will have to fly to. 

Maybe by then I'll have a raise. Or maybe I'll sacrifice the awesome dog-hair-repellent sectional for friends and family. Urgh! The sectional might have to wait until Christmas.

But my overall motivation is that once I pay off all this debt, hopefully the economy will have recovered and I can go onto my next adventure!

So India, a repaired car and a leather sofa are my carrots. But the ultimate destination is being debt free!

Writing at Work (Instead of Working at Writing)

Before I got my job, I had a lot of time to myself and I also had a lot of time to write. I miss writing more often on my blog, I miss having time to compose my posts. I miss having personal time, time to think AND time to write. Lately, it seems that I have to choose: Think, reflect OR write. Sometimes the two go hand in hand but lately they seem like to separate things, like chores. Maybe that is because if I am writing, I am sacrificing sleep and if I am thinking I am also sacrificing sleep. So maybe I am just too half-asleep to do two things simulaniously.

So, I started blogging on my lunch break. I've set aside my hour break to stuff some food in my mouth and then catch up on emails and then do blog related activities. So far, so good. But an hour really isn't that much time. I'm having to learn how to write, compose, read, comment and build readership in smaller doses. So far, it feels good to just to be online again in the company of my online Singlutionary friends. And I know that over time I'll "catch up" and it won't feel like an hour is just a tiny drop of water on my skin when I'm wanting to go swimming in the ocean.

Speaking of my hour, its up.

But my point is that I am trying to figure out how to utilize smaller portions of time so that I can still enjoy writing and blogging and sharing Singlutionaryness. Its another adventure. We'll see how it goes!

I Feel Like A Human Again

For the past month I've been working my new full-time job AND the part-time job that I worked all along. Its been hard but I wanted to see Bosslady through her transition.

Today is the first day that I didn't have to go to work in the morning and then go from there to my other work.

I woke up and felt human again. I had time to be reflective in the morning, remember what day of the week it is, what I'm doing with my life and who I am. I had time to look at myself in the mirror while I put on makeup (its not a good idea to put on makeup when you're too busy to even look in the mirror while you do it), think about what I wanted to eat for breakfast, eat breakfast, pet the dog, gather my things together, pack a snack for work and still get to work on time.

Next week I am going to start working out in the mornings again but right now I am still just exhausted. Even though I had a four day holiday over the 4th of July I was so busy then trying to catch up on stuff that I still didn't get much time to just be still and think my thoughts. 

I need time to think my thoughts. I really enjoy reflection and introspection and solitude. Especially in the morning.

And I like getting at least 7 hours of sleep and eating breakfast.

I like feeling human.

Unabashedly EMPLOYED!

I got a job! 

And it was like magic.

I applied for jobs a couple months ago and had a phone interview with HR but nothing came of it. It was the only interview I got and the only job I actually wanted although I sent in lots of resumes. And then I started working on my house full time and gave up on the job search. 

Well, the same company called me last week and brought me in for a face-to-face interview. And then they called back on Monday and offered me the job. 

And so, as of next week, I am gainfully employed. This is the first time that I will work full-time at a job (not self employed) in 5 years. I've worked part-time jobs, been self employed full time, but I haven't gone to work M-F 9-5 for five full years. 

And suddenly, even though I was so nonchalant about NOT having a job, I feel this huge relief and excitement. 

All my problems are solved. I now know where my life is headed, how much money will be coming in every month, what my work hours will be, what kinds of clothes I'll be wearing to work. I know that I'll have health insurance and vacation pay. When making small talk, I now have a pat answer for the dreaded "so, what do you do" conversation. I have a cover for all my creative endeavors. And because this job is good and pays what I wanted, I know that I'll be there for a few years at least.

Phew. Its nice to have that settled.

I wasn't ready before. I had too many things I wanted to do and try before committing to a job. Two years at one job felt like a prison or a straightjacket. Now it feels like freedom. 

Will my projects suffer? Will I have to compromise for this security? Yes. Yes. Yes. I am sure that at first I will have to slow down and adjust to fitting my projects in around a 40+ hour work week. I will have to compromise spending all day with my dog at home and I will have to be more efficient with my time on the weekends.

But I will be able to pay off debt (debt was a huge compromise to being unabashedly unemployed for so long) and I will be able to board my dog when I go out of town at her favorite fancypants boarding facility. I will be able to save up money while I work and take the vacations I want (and get paid for the weeks I miss). 

Money and Time are always at odds with each other. It is difficult to find a good balance between the two. I've had a lot of time in the past 5 years. And now I will have less time but more money. 

And I am ready for that challenge. I am ready to leave my leisurely life and rock the 9-5.

This is my last post on Unabashedly Unemployed! But I will definitely find time to continue Singlutionary. You can find me there anytime!

I Work Full Time but I Don't Have a Job

I haven't posted in so long that I almost forgot about this little fledgling blog. I haven't posted because I've been busy. Busy like working full time busy. Except I haven't been working at a job: I've been working at all the things in my life which I have been putting off for a year and a half. Its great. I feel immense amounts of satisfaction finishing up these tasks which have been lingering on my "to-do" list for ages. 

I've been so occupied with these things that I haven't even had time to look for a job. And I am OK with that. In my experience, it is the times when I am most engaged with the world and most joyfully and un-self-consciously living life that excellent opportunities drop into my lap.

And, its seems that out economy might be slowly improving now so why not wait out the storm (or in this case the drought)?

Of course, I am in a slightly different position from many people. I have roommates who help pay the mortgage and I have part-time income in addition to a little bit of available credit left on my credit cards. If I am frugal (I am always pretty frugal) and patient, I can remain unabashedly unemployed until August. 

And by then I'll have finished many major projects and will be ready for the full time income to finish up others.

And I won't be so stressed out with all these things looming over me, needing to be done on the weekends when what I really need to be doing is recovering from an exhausting week.

In the past, when I have had lots of free time, I have usually slept through it. But last week, I was up at 5:20am every morning and in bed usually by 11pm. On Friday I took a nap in the morning because I was so tired. I have been going going going all day, fixing my car, finishing projects around the house, running errands, putting systems in place, making the house beautiful. 

I don't know where all this energy came from, maybe from months and months of life coaching or from coming out from under the cloud that was my life in 2008. Maybe it was getting to know myself well enough to finally appreciate what I value and see that it has been here all along: community, my home, my dog, my car, my creative endeavors. It feels like I was on the right path before but I couldn't move. I was just standing there, frozen. And now I'm jogging again, enjoying the day and just glad to be moving.

Speaking of jogging, I've been consistently exercising. And not in that "I better go exercise now so that I don't look like a lard ass next week" way but in the "I can't wait to get out on the trail today or go swimming today" way. I enjoy the activities that I am doing and look forward to them. I make sure to fit them into my day. I've never enjoyed running before but now I do. I am still not that good at it compared to most people but I am VERY good at it compared to myself. I'm the best runner that I've ever been and I see this new level of fitness impacting my stamina in the rest of my life.

I wish I could explain how I got here but it seems to be nothing short of a miracle. I am the most unathletic person I have ever met but suddenly the yoga video is nothing to me and I can run without stopping for a half mile (like I said, not a big deal to others but a big deal to me). 

My batteries are charged again. And running and writing and taking care of the house and the dog . . . these things keep them charged. Also, resting on Sundays keeps them charged as well.

So, in the end. I am not sure how often I will keep up this blog. I'll let you know how everything turns out in the end, if and when I get a job and if I don't get a job, how I end up affording to life my wonderful life.

I'll let you know when I get back to my normal weight of 130lbs too. And I'll most likely brag myself to death when I can run 2 miles without stopping. 

In the meantime, if you have any questions, ask away in comments and I'll reply. And please subscribe to my other blog Singlutionary which I'll continue to update weekly.