Applying for a Job I Like

I've spent a lot of time this week trying to come to terms with the kind of job that I actually want. 

It took me so long just to get to the point where I could say "I want a job" that these simple little steps seem like huge victories to me. 

So this week, in the midst of my despair, the only thing that I could count on was that I actually want a full time job. I look forward to it. I look forward to applying myself to something and getting a paycheck in return and having some structure in my life.

But what kind of thing do I want to fill that space, that 40 hours a week, that 1/4 of my life?

Nothing was appealing to me. NOTHING. What kind of job do I want? I don't know but I'm not excited about this one. 

Sigh. It really sucks to keep applying to jobs that you're not really that excited about. I let it bring me down. It got in the way. There were so many wonderful things to do in the world and I couldn't be joyful about them because I couldn't get over the fact that no job excited me.

And then, last night, in the wee hours, I decided to check craigslist. And craigslist like the trickster that s/he is had a little jem of hope for me: A job that made my pulse race, that made me smile, that actually motivated me to begin a cover letter right then and right there, to brainstorm the ways in which I could change my resume to be more effective for this particular position. 

Its a dream job. Its a job that marries my skills and experience and my love for dogs. Its a job that would give me weekends off, respect in my communities and would feed my soul.

I hope I get it. But if not, at least I know what it feels like to be excited about a job again.

Kinda feels like a mini-falling-in-love. It feels like spring days after a long winter, like a bubble bath at the end of a long day, like blady-blahdey-blah. 

Anyways. That is all. I no longer feel like my working future is dead. A job that is right for me will feed my wallet and fuel my life. I'll be more satisfied, more inspired and more energetic. I'll loose 20 pounds and find 20 dollars in the sofa.

I can't wait to go back to work!

And in the meantime I better get cracking on finishing up the garden and my rain water collection barrels and painting the kitchen and working out constantly and enjoying long days at the greenbelt and fixing my car and fixing my bike and going on bike rides and cleaning out the AC now that its getting hot around here. 

Unabashed Unemployment Day 1: The Schedule

Over the weekend, I decided that I need to put myself on a schedule which mimics what my life would be like when I get a full time job. Basically, I'll get up every morning and to to bed every night and take my lunch break and get dressed just like I would if I had my ideal work schedule. 

I am going to do this until I get a full time job.

There are two reasons for doing this:

1. When I get a full time job, it will be in addition to working for Bosslady once she recovers from her car accident (get well soon Bosslady!!) so I will be working about 60 hours a week. Its also important to me that I keep up all my projects, including Singlutionary, and have time for some personal peace. I also want to continue to observe my secular sabbath and keep up my vegetable garden (my new favorite project). SO, I'm going to have to become very efficient-- like raising-six-kids-in-a-studio-apartment efficient-- in order to be able to work, have peace and do the things that are most important to me (writing, homemaking, gardening, hanging with my dog, etc, etc, etc). And because this is a tall order, I figure I better start practicing now so that I don't want to die when I finally do get the job of my dreams.

2. I figure its a good thing to do in that "law of attraction"/The SECRET kind of way. You know, I dress in the clothes I'd like to wear at my ideal job and FEEL like I've already got my ideal job and waddaya know? I suddenly HAVE my ideal job. Poof!

So. Here is my Schedule:

5-5:40AM: Getup, get dressed, eat breakfast, etc

5:40-8AM: Bosslady Stuff (I am still helping Bosslady with some stuff while she is in the hospital which is great because it forces me to get up early!)

8-12PM: Work (during this time, since I don't actually HAVE a job, I can work on projects, look for jobs, apply for jobs or shop for interview clothes. I can NOT sit at home watching Big Love on DVD. I have to be actively engaged in a) things that will help me get a job or b) important projects that I will be pissed off about not having any time to do once I get a job. 

12-1PM: Lunctime (eat a meal that I prepared and packed up the previous night), walk the dog M-W, go to Bosslady's Th-F.

1-5PM: Work (this week its on my yard or getting "ahead on the blogs" although I am not sure how the heck I am going to be able to keep up blogging. Today I went to an acting class.

5:30-6:45PM: Dinner. Put a portion aside for lunch tomorrow. Clean up. Water the yard while things are cooking. Daily chore (I've broken up housework into 4 parts done M-Th). This is going to be the hard part because that is a lot to cram into that period of time, but I know that with practice and preparation, I can do it!

6:45-8PM: Blogging (or grad school applications or other writing project)

8-9:15PM: Swimming at the Gym with my new Gym membership. I choose to go in the evenings because that is when my roommate goes and she motivates me. Also, I plan to shower and get ready for bed directly after swimming (and leave the gym in my pjs) so there is less time wasted on costume changes. 

9:30-10PM: Get ready for bed (I'll have already showered, etc at the gym and I'll have already prepared my lunch for tomorrow so I'll pretty much just need to brush my teeth).

The above is the IDEAL. I am trying to stick to it as closely as possible so I can get into the swing of things. Today I did pretty well until about 3pm (universal siesta time). Right not its 5:48 and I shouldn't be blogging (I have time for that later). I should be in my watering/cooking/cleaning mode. Oops.

Until tomorrow!