Saturday, May 23, 2009

I Work Full Time but I Don't Have a Job

I haven't posted in so long that I almost forgot about this little fledgling blog. I haven't posted because I've been busy. Busy like working full time busy. Except I haven't been working at a job: I've been working at all the things in my life which I have been putting off for a year and a half. Its great. I feel immense amounts of satisfaction finishing up these tasks which have been lingering on my "to-do" list for ages. 

I've been so occupied with these things that I haven't even had time to look for a job. And I am OK with that. In my experience, it is the times when I am most engaged with the world and most joyfully and un-self-consciously living life that excellent opportunities drop into my lap.

And, its seems that out economy might be slowly improving now so why not wait out the storm (or in this case the drought)?

Of course, I am in a slightly different position from many people. I have roommates who help pay the mortgage and I have part-time income in addition to a little bit of available credit left on my credit cards. If I am frugal (I am always pretty frugal) and patient, I can remain unabashedly unemployed until August. 

And by then I'll have finished many major projects and will be ready for the full time income to finish up others.

And I won't be so stressed out with all these things looming over me, needing to be done on the weekends when what I really need to be doing is recovering from an exhausting week.

In the past, when I have had lots of free time, I have usually slept through it. But last week, I was up at 5:20am every morning and in bed usually by 11pm. On Friday I took a nap in the morning because I was so tired. I have been going going going all day, fixing my car, finishing projects around the house, running errands, putting systems in place, making the house beautiful. 

I don't know where all this energy came from, maybe from months and months of life coaching or from coming out from under the cloud that was my life in 2008. Maybe it was getting to know myself well enough to finally appreciate what I value and see that it has been here all along: community, my home, my dog, my car, my creative endeavors. It feels like I was on the right path before but I couldn't move. I was just standing there, frozen. And now I'm jogging again, enjoying the day and just glad to be moving.

Speaking of jogging, I've been consistently exercising. And not in that "I better go exercise now so that I don't look like a lard ass next week" way but in the "I can't wait to get out on the trail today or go swimming today" way. I enjoy the activities that I am doing and look forward to them. I make sure to fit them into my day. I've never enjoyed running before but now I do. I am still not that good at it compared to most people but I am VERY good at it compared to myself. I'm the best runner that I've ever been and I see this new level of fitness impacting my stamina in the rest of my life.

I wish I could explain how I got here but it seems to be nothing short of a miracle. I am the most unathletic person I have ever met but suddenly the yoga video is nothing to me and I can run without stopping for a half mile (like I said, not a big deal to others but a big deal to me). 

My batteries are charged again. And running and writing and taking care of the house and the dog . . . these things keep them charged. Also, resting on Sundays keeps them charged as well.

So, in the end. I am not sure how often I will keep up this blog. I'll let you know how everything turns out in the end, if and when I get a job and if I don't get a job, how I end up affording to life my wonderful life.

I'll let you know when I get back to my normal weight of 130lbs too. And I'll most likely brag myself to death when I can run 2 miles without stopping. 

In the meantime, if you have any questions, ask away in comments and I'll reply. And please subscribe to my other blog Singlutionary which I'll continue to update weekly. 


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