Getting Behind and Catching Up

It is hard for me to stay on top of things. I always feel behind with money, with my blog, with the house and I often feel behind on exercise.

Sometimes the problem is that I expect too much of myself and don't budget enough time to get things done (house projects always take 3x more time than my most generous estimate).

But I've gotten better about budgeting time. So sometimes the problem is that something unexpected comes up or I am preoccupied with something else.

One great thing about having a full time 9-5 type job is that I have some regularity in my life. I typically know where I am going to be when on any given day of the week. So I need to work with that! All the things I have problems managing are things which happen over and over again on a regular basis: housework, exercise, writing, payday and billpay.

So: Here are some conclusions. This schedule doesn't leave a lot of time for chit chat or to be lazy but it also sets things up in a way that if I miss a day, it will only be a day, no harm done!

On workdays, at lunch, I will work on writing my web series

On workdays, after dinner, I will work on Singlutionary

On Saturdays and during family home evening I'll work on my postcards and other projects

On Sundays I will work on the house (cleaning, improvements, gardening)

It doesn't leave much time to rest but I do find working on the house to be somewhat restful.

In terms of money, I am going to try something new. Each time I get paid I'll pay things in this order:

1. All bills due within the next two weeks or that I've received statements for

2. My savings $50 per paycheck

3. Cash for food and stuff $50 per paycheck

4. Allow a $50 buffer in my checking account and pay EVERYTHING else toward my highest interest credit card. 

That way I will always have enough to pay for the things I need but when I do get a larger paycheck, the "bonus" will go towards debt and not get mysteriously gobbled up!

Hopefully once I get used to these routines I will start feeling "on the ball" instead of on this never ending cycle. 

Today Went OK

I began today with my new lifestyle and money-saving goals in mind. I did drive my car but I spent a lot of time paying attention to the things I would need to do differently when I ride my bike. I am going to ride my bike to work for the first time this Friday. Very exciting. 

After work I drove directly to the bank/grocery store where I spent 17 bucks on groceries most of which I cooked directly after I came home. But there is enough in there for at least 3 lunches through the rest of the week. So I've got that part covered at least. And I have an overly plentiful supply of cereal so I think I can make it a week without getting more groceries.

But most importantly, my main goal was to come home and be home. I wasn't thinking about how I'd rather be eating pizza or that I should be out and about. I'm just learning to be grateful for the simple things I have, like my house, my dog and my one-dish meals. I came home, talked to the dog, talked with my roommates and let the chickens out.

Now I have eaten, put the chickens to bed, cleaned the kitchen, set aside lunch for tomorrow and even talked to a friend on the phone. And its only 8:30. I now have plenty of time to relax with my Singlutionary blog. 

I do love being at home but our culture is so against it. I miss being in high school and being in college when we were too poor to go out all the time and everyone would just come over to hang out. I think that might also have a lot to do with living in quiet towns with nothing to do  . . . the home become the center of social engagement. The only problem is that I don't want to go to other people's houses. The pets have a lot to do with that. When I am done with work I want to come home and hang out with my dog. 

But when I was younger and dog free and lived in an apartment, I really enjoyed spending a lot of time at more "grown up" friend's houses. 

Anyways. So far my financial cutbacks have been a blessing and I am looking forward to carrying these blessings through out the week. We'll see how the whole bike ride thing goes. To be honest I am not looking forward to it at all. There are hills and I have a beat up old beach cruiser. I am going to have to get off that thing and walk in some parts with my head hung in shame.

Goals. Debt. Work.

I've been employed for a little over three months now. I have health insurance which is nice. But I also get $50 something taken out of every paycheck to pay for it. That wouldn't be that bad but I still don't have any kind of sick or vacation pay and the last holiday was before my 90 day period closed. So my last check was, uh, minimal. I am also dependent on bonuses which have slowed due to a slower season.

I am trying to find new ways to motivate myself at a job which I find a little bit boring but very much needed. I am trying to find ways to fight through the bullshit and be grateful and also feel rewarded.

Its hard to feel rewarded when you're in lots of debt. When I get a big bonus, I immediately put it towards my credit cards and I don't get to play with any of it. I want a new sofa, a vacation, a bed for my dog, a bed for me (I sleep on a twin mattress on top of another twin mattress) and I want to go camping sometime this year. Oh. And something needs to be done about my car who is older than I am and attains a new noise/problem every week (but still gets me from point A to point B-- most of the time -- thank goodness).

Like most folks who were out of work for a long time or who had to go back to work after being self employed (like I was) due to the economy, I have debt. Oodles of it. As of right now I have just over $40k in credit card debt. Yeah. So stop feeling so dreadful about yourself. I am pretty sure that I trump most people when it comes to debt. 

I didn't get this debt buying designer handbags. I paid the rent with it, invested in myself and in my future, invested in my house and took care of the basics. I just had more money going out than coming in for too many years.

I figure that if I am super frugal I can pay it all off in about 3.5 years. If nothing goes wrong. If I am able to keep earning what I am earning. If nobody gets sick, I don't miss any days of work and I never buy anything nice for myself. 

Sometimes I think about picking up more work but I really really don't want to sacrifice my health and my sanity. Plus, I already have my acting gigs which are pretty few and far between but that IS extra work and it derails my routine enough as it is. 

So. Two questions: how can I spend less and how can I reward myself for smaller things.

There aren't many places where I can cut back. I don't have a car payment (although I do have a car) but I can drive less and save on gas and maybe a bit on insurance. I can try and spend less on food and eat more frugally, quit drinking and never eat out. 

So. Here are my new goals, their timeframes and the rewards:

August-March: 

Goal: Ride my bike to work 4 out of 5 days a week. This will save me any gym membership fee (I already put mine on hold to save money) and will save me about $70/mo on gas.

Goal: Only eat at home, try and socialize at home as much as possible and no alcohol or sweets. Learn to cook and eat more frugally. This will save me about $100/mo  and maybe more.

Goal: Recommit to writing on Singlutionary and to writing in general in the hopes that I can lay the groundwork for another website which actually generates revenue. 

Reward: Pay off highest interest credit card. Save enough cash to go to India for my roommate's wedding. Use my vacation pay for the trip. Get fit and skinny in the name of debt reduction. 

Motivation: A once in a lifetime experience of attending a friend's Indian wedding and traveling to India (mostly) by myself (except for the wedding part).

April-June:

Goal: Find or create one additional source of income even if its really basic like dog walking or pet sitting or working Sundays someplace (I only have to do it for a few months which makes me feel better about it)

Goal: Save enough money to get my car fixed so I can quit riding my bike!

Reward: Not having to ride to work in 100% plus weather all summer. 

Motivation: Feeling like the end (of having sketch transportation and/or other financial trauma is in sight)

July-September:

Goal: Continue paying down debt at the same speed

Goal: Save enough money by trimming the fat in ALL possible places to buy a used faux leather sectional for my living room (way easier to get the dog hair off of and way better looking than a faded black futon and an even more faded loveseat with a torn slipcover). Oh. And buy a new dog bed for the poor dog (her current one is lumpy and has been mended twice). 

I LOVE this plan. It feels good and it feels do-able. But then I remember that in June I have a wedding that I have to fly to and in July I have a family reunion that I also will have to fly to. 

Maybe by then I'll have a raise. Or maybe I'll sacrifice the awesome dog-hair-repellent sectional for friends and family. Urgh! The sectional might have to wait until Christmas.

But my overall motivation is that once I pay off all this debt, hopefully the economy will have recovered and I can go onto my next adventure!

So India, a repaired car and a leather sofa are my carrots. But the ultimate destination is being debt free!

Writing at Work (Instead of Working at Writing)

Before I got my job, I had a lot of time to myself and I also had a lot of time to write. I miss writing more often on my blog, I miss having time to compose my posts. I miss having personal time, time to think AND time to write. Lately, it seems that I have to choose: Think, reflect OR write. Sometimes the two go hand in hand but lately they seem like to separate things, like chores. Maybe that is because if I am writing, I am sacrificing sleep and if I am thinking I am also sacrificing sleep. So maybe I am just too half-asleep to do two things simulaniously.

So, I started blogging on my lunch break. I've set aside my hour break to stuff some food in my mouth and then catch up on emails and then do blog related activities. So far, so good. But an hour really isn't that much time. I'm having to learn how to write, compose, read, comment and build readership in smaller doses. So far, it feels good to just to be online again in the company of my online Singlutionary friends. And I know that over time I'll "catch up" and it won't feel like an hour is just a tiny drop of water on my skin when I'm wanting to go swimming in the ocean.

Speaking of my hour, its up.

But my point is that I am trying to figure out how to utilize smaller portions of time so that I can still enjoy writing and blogging and sharing Singlutionaryness. Its another adventure. We'll see how it goes!

I Feel Like A Human Again

For the past month I've been working my new full-time job AND the part-time job that I worked all along. Its been hard but I wanted to see Bosslady through her transition.

Today is the first day that I didn't have to go to work in the morning and then go from there to my other work.

I woke up and felt human again. I had time to be reflective in the morning, remember what day of the week it is, what I'm doing with my life and who I am. I had time to look at myself in the mirror while I put on makeup (its not a good idea to put on makeup when you're too busy to even look in the mirror while you do it), think about what I wanted to eat for breakfast, eat breakfast, pet the dog, gather my things together, pack a snack for work and still get to work on time.

Next week I am going to start working out in the mornings again but right now I am still just exhausted. Even though I had a four day holiday over the 4th of July I was so busy then trying to catch up on stuff that I still didn't get much time to just be still and think my thoughts. 

I need time to think my thoughts. I really enjoy reflection and introspection and solitude. Especially in the morning.

And I like getting at least 7 hours of sleep and eating breakfast.

I like feeling human.

Unabashedly EMPLOYED!

I got a job! 

And it was like magic.

I applied for jobs a couple months ago and had a phone interview with HR but nothing came of it. It was the only interview I got and the only job I actually wanted although I sent in lots of resumes. And then I started working on my house full time and gave up on the job search. 

Well, the same company called me last week and brought me in for a face-to-face interview. And then they called back on Monday and offered me the job. 

And so, as of next week, I am gainfully employed. This is the first time that I will work full-time at a job (not self employed) in 5 years. I've worked part-time jobs, been self employed full time, but I haven't gone to work M-F 9-5 for five full years. 

And suddenly, even though I was so nonchalant about NOT having a job, I feel this huge relief and excitement. 

All my problems are solved. I now know where my life is headed, how much money will be coming in every month, what my work hours will be, what kinds of clothes I'll be wearing to work. I know that I'll have health insurance and vacation pay. When making small talk, I now have a pat answer for the dreaded "so, what do you do" conversation. I have a cover for all my creative endeavors. And because this job is good and pays what I wanted, I know that I'll be there for a few years at least.

Phew. Its nice to have that settled.

I wasn't ready before. I had too many things I wanted to do and try before committing to a job. Two years at one job felt like a prison or a straightjacket. Now it feels like freedom. 

Will my projects suffer? Will I have to compromise for this security? Yes. Yes. Yes. I am sure that at first I will have to slow down and adjust to fitting my projects in around a 40+ hour work week. I will have to compromise spending all day with my dog at home and I will have to be more efficient with my time on the weekends.

But I will be able to pay off debt (debt was a huge compromise to being unabashedly unemployed for so long) and I will be able to board my dog when I go out of town at her favorite fancypants boarding facility. I will be able to save up money while I work and take the vacations I want (and get paid for the weeks I miss). 

Money and Time are always at odds with each other. It is difficult to find a good balance between the two. I've had a lot of time in the past 5 years. And now I will have less time but more money. 

And I am ready for that challenge. I am ready to leave my leisurely life and rock the 9-5.

This is my last post on Unabashedly Unemployed! But I will definitely find time to continue Singlutionary. You can find me there anytime!

I Work Full Time but I Don't Have a Job

I haven't posted in so long that I almost forgot about this little fledgling blog. I haven't posted because I've been busy. Busy like working full time busy. Except I haven't been working at a job: I've been working at all the things in my life which I have been putting off for a year and a half. Its great. I feel immense amounts of satisfaction finishing up these tasks which have been lingering on my "to-do" list for ages. 

I've been so occupied with these things that I haven't even had time to look for a job. And I am OK with that. In my experience, it is the times when I am most engaged with the world and most joyfully and un-self-consciously living life that excellent opportunities drop into my lap.

And, its seems that out economy might be slowly improving now so why not wait out the storm (or in this case the drought)?

Of course, I am in a slightly different position from many people. I have roommates who help pay the mortgage and I have part-time income in addition to a little bit of available credit left on my credit cards. If I am frugal (I am always pretty frugal) and patient, I can remain unabashedly unemployed until August. 

And by then I'll have finished many major projects and will be ready for the full time income to finish up others.

And I won't be so stressed out with all these things looming over me, needing to be done on the weekends when what I really need to be doing is recovering from an exhausting week.

In the past, when I have had lots of free time, I have usually slept through it. But last week, I was up at 5:20am every morning and in bed usually by 11pm. On Friday I took a nap in the morning because I was so tired. I have been going going going all day, fixing my car, finishing projects around the house, running errands, putting systems in place, making the house beautiful. 

I don't know where all this energy came from, maybe from months and months of life coaching or from coming out from under the cloud that was my life in 2008. Maybe it was getting to know myself well enough to finally appreciate what I value and see that it has been here all along: community, my home, my dog, my car, my creative endeavors. It feels like I was on the right path before but I couldn't move. I was just standing there, frozen. And now I'm jogging again, enjoying the day and just glad to be moving.

Speaking of jogging, I've been consistently exercising. And not in that "I better go exercise now so that I don't look like a lard ass next week" way but in the "I can't wait to get out on the trail today or go swimming today" way. I enjoy the activities that I am doing and look forward to them. I make sure to fit them into my day. I've never enjoyed running before but now I do. I am still not that good at it compared to most people but I am VERY good at it compared to myself. I'm the best runner that I've ever been and I see this new level of fitness impacting my stamina in the rest of my life.

I wish I could explain how I got here but it seems to be nothing short of a miracle. I am the most unathletic person I have ever met but suddenly the yoga video is nothing to me and I can run without stopping for a half mile (like I said, not a big deal to others but a big deal to me). 

My batteries are charged again. And running and writing and taking care of the house and the dog . . . these things keep them charged. Also, resting on Sundays keeps them charged as well.

So, in the end. I am not sure how often I will keep up this blog. I'll let you know how everything turns out in the end, if and when I get a job and if I don't get a job, how I end up affording to life my wonderful life.

I'll let you know when I get back to my normal weight of 130lbs too. And I'll most likely brag myself to death when I can run 2 miles without stopping. 

In the meantime, if you have any questions, ask away in comments and I'll reply. And please subscribe to my other blog Singlutionary which I'll continue to update weekly. 

Applying for a Job I Like

I've spent a lot of time this week trying to come to terms with the kind of job that I actually want. 

It took me so long just to get to the point where I could say "I want a job" that these simple little steps seem like huge victories to me. 

So this week, in the midst of my despair, the only thing that I could count on was that I actually want a full time job. I look forward to it. I look forward to applying myself to something and getting a paycheck in return and having some structure in my life.

But what kind of thing do I want to fill that space, that 40 hours a week, that 1/4 of my life?

Nothing was appealing to me. NOTHING. What kind of job do I want? I don't know but I'm not excited about this one. 

Sigh. It really sucks to keep applying to jobs that you're not really that excited about. I let it bring me down. It got in the way. There were so many wonderful things to do in the world and I couldn't be joyful about them because I couldn't get over the fact that no job excited me.

And then, last night, in the wee hours, I decided to check craigslist. And craigslist like the trickster that s/he is had a little jem of hope for me: A job that made my pulse race, that made me smile, that actually motivated me to begin a cover letter right then and right there, to brainstorm the ways in which I could change my resume to be more effective for this particular position. 

Its a dream job. Its a job that marries my skills and experience and my love for dogs. Its a job that would give me weekends off, respect in my communities and would feed my soul.

I hope I get it. But if not, at least I know what it feels like to be excited about a job again.

Kinda feels like a mini-falling-in-love. It feels like spring days after a long winter, like a bubble bath at the end of a long day, like blady-blahdey-blah. 

Anyways. That is all. I no longer feel like my working future is dead. A job that is right for me will feed my wallet and fuel my life. I'll be more satisfied, more inspired and more energetic. I'll loose 20 pounds and find 20 dollars in the sofa.

I can't wait to go back to work!

And in the meantime I better get cracking on finishing up the garden and my rain water collection barrels and painting the kitchen and working out constantly and enjoying long days at the greenbelt and fixing my car and fixing my bike and going on bike rides and cleaning out the AC now that its getting hot around here. 

Pigging out on Pizza

So after complaining and moping the day away I have successfully NOT worked out but I HAVE successfully ordered a pizza.

And even though I am still wearing pajama shorts, I feel a lot better about my life.

The job I am looking for is not my soul's purpose. I know that. What I am looking for is a job that I can enjoy for two years and will provide enough income that I can continue to pursue my dreams. Its only two years so I don't have to feel super motivated, I don't have to marry it or fall in love with it or even co-habitate with it. But it IS still two years so it has to pay enough to be worth it and the people have to be nice and I have to have good benefits and good time off so that I'm refreshed and ready to go in two years and not depressed and exhausted.

Also, I feel drawn to the non-profit world. I came from there. I would love to work for the Humane Society or some other organization which would bring my interests and work together. My reservation about that has always been that I will have to work long thankless hours. But that is not true. I can simply put down some boundaries around when I am willing to work. I am a lot older and wiser than I was at 23 when I was at my first (beloved) non-profit job so I think I can handle myself a little bit better. Yay!

AND, as my dad pointed out, I am not desperate. I am in a position where I can be kinda choosy because I still have the roommates to help with the mortgage and I have my mini-job with Bosslady. 

I'm lucky.

So instead of sitting around all day feeling trapped and applying to jobs that I kinda hate the thought of working at, I can just make job applications another part of my daily routine and fill the "work" hours with activities that I love.

So I've changed my mind. I am no longer in purgatory. I am on vacation!

Unemployment Blues

So yeah. Its finally hit me. I thought I was invincible but now I am just annoyed and confused and antsy. 

I thought I would post here every day. I mean, I have time right? But being unemployed really isn't that interesting after a while. It was fun at first and now it just sucks. I hate TV but I watch it. I hate pigging out on creepy food like cotton candy but I do it. 

Sigh. 

Part of the problem might be that I have not been keeping to my unemployment schedule which forces me to be productive and not get lost in the many work-less working hours of the day.

But the bigger problem is direction. I know what I am looking for in terms of a job but I am still not so enthused about having a job. On one hand, I want to commit and work for two years at the same job and have a regular paycheck and just relax on the weekends and write and prepare for grad school. On the other hand I am reluctant to commit to a full time job which will entirely rule out any acting work.

I don't want to do acting stuff right now. But what happens when I want to again?

I guess one big thing that has happened is that my State Bill has passed which makes my state more competitive in attracting film/tv/video/any-moving-image projects. So there will be more work and wouldn't I rather do that than be an office drone all day?

The problem is that I am not sure. I would rather be an office drone all day for a while. But if opportunity abounds again in my state and in my little city, why would I want to be an office drone.

Maybe I could work it out so that my droning could be flexible enough for me to go to auditions and bookings.

And then of course there is the problem of getting auditions since I haven't been very good about building my resume or taking classes or kissing asses lately. 

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. 

I feel mired in my own indecision this week. I go through the motions of applying for jobs but secretly I don't want any of them. Well, not so secretly I guess. 

And at the same time I get excited thinking about working again full time and about how nice it will be to have a regular steady work schedule and how fun it will be to pay off all my debt. 

I wish I could make up my own mind!

Jobity Job Job

I had a phone interview yesterday for a job. I know. Super exciting. The thought of going back to work thrills me suddenly. I am so close to having all my financial problems solved!

BORING!

I got really bored today. I am READY to have a job again and to go to work every day. I got so bored that I felt rebellious, ate a bunch of food instead of dinner and blew off the gym to go to the grocery store with my roommate and then make sushi and watch a bad movie.

So I know that I can't stay inside all day reading blogs and checking email because there is a limit to how long that is really engaging for.

So I've set some specific weekly goals to help me motivate myself and get the projects done that need getting done so I won't be stressed when I do work full time (plus) again.

Goals for the next 3 weeks:

For the remainder of week 1: Finish all my garden projects that CAN be finished at this juncture. This means turning over and weeding another corner of the yard to prepare it for planting, doing another treasure hunt for dog turds, planting some container plants in the ground, planting sunflowers in front of the house and setting up the downspouts so that the water flows into my rainwater barrels. This actually is less work than it sounds consider that I have 8 hours a day to do it in and its pretty easy.

Week 2: Get my car in great shape. I'll start with cleaning it and doing something about the massive mess of unknown articles in the trunk. I've hauled a lot of plants, dirt and manure in the backseat so I've got my cleaning work cut out for me. Then I might as well use the parts I bought which are sitting in the garage and: replace the water pump, fix the window regulator (and put the door back together), do a friggin oil change and replace the exterior trim (after 1.5 years of driving around with little holes all around the side of the car where the trim is supposed to snap into place). There are other projects which need doing and I'll remember 'em when I get there. Oh, a belt needs to be tightened. 

Week 3: Inside projects. Finish painting the half painted kitchen wall, replace the trip on the windowseat. Put some moulding in the dining room and do something with the furniture so that it doesn't look like a storage area. Paint the downstairs hallway and the stairwell and the doors and doorframes too! Hang artwork and get frames. 

Ahhhh. Now I AM working 8 hours a day, just on too-long neglected stuff in my own life. If I can get all these things done before going back to work, I'll be thrilled. I always have a huge backlog of projects (and emails and voicemails and bills) but now I'm almost caught up and I can move AHEAD instead of being stuck in the past.

Job Applications

I applied for jobs today. Wow! I know that typically, this would be a daily thing for an unemployed person but for the past week, I have just been trying to wrap my mind around the thought of working full time. 

My resistance to doing something that normal Americans do on a daily basis isn't purely from laziness or from the hedonistic joy of spending my day anyway I want. It also comes from going through many jobs and several careers only to find that a) I am best as my own boss and b) I am capable of running my own business.

So when I made a break from my last job, I thought it was for good. And I have resisted committing myself to working for someone else because I felt like that was a fearful step forward instead of a braver step forward as a self-employed entrepreneur. 

If I am so good at being my own boss, why haven't I been able to make a living? Sigh. I ask myself this all the time. Ideally I'd have two great careers now: one as a realtor and one as an actor. Would I be successful in these things if the market hadn't fallen apart or if work hadn't disappeared completely? I don't know. I don't think I ever would have been a top producing realtor because that wasn't my passion and I doubt I'd be making a huge living acting because the market here was always too small for full-time actors. 

Which is why I am going back to work. I need to regroup and find something to do that is not dependent so much on my city and the availability of work here. And I need to re-rally my financial resources, pay off debt and save.

But I also need to rest. Running around trying to start up a business is exhausting and its even more exhausting when it doesn't work. While I failed at real estate because I didn't pour my heart and soul into it, I DID pour my heart and soul into acting and failed anyways.

Part of the problem is the work itself. But that is a topic for another day.

The point is that now I am tired. So tired that working during the week, saving my pennies and relaxing on the weekends actually sounds great! 

As long as I have time for writing. 

But now that I have practiced my daily unemployment schedule routine for a week,  feel much more confident that a) I can function just find on less than 8 hours of sleep a night and b) I WILL have time to work out and to hang out and to write. It will all fit if I just work one full time job.

Of course, I won't be working one full time job but a job and a half. But once the dust settles, I think I'll be happy with my life for the next 2.5 years at least.

And then onto new adventures (again).

Fake Work Week #2

Last week's unemployment schedule went pretty well for TWO DAYS. I am trying to balance "practicing" working full time and having to be super efficient with my time off and fitting in things I won't be able to do once I go back to work.

This week I am hoping to have the stamina to keep my schedule up all week and to make sure I hit the gym 4 times! One of my big goals for spending this extra time is to get a big headstart on getting the junk out of my trunk. I've thought about working out twice a day but I'm pretty sure I'll burn out too fast if I do that. So the gym in the evening is going to have to be enough for that.

I know that I'll also eat better when I have a full time job because I won't be temped to snack all day.

But I digress. Goals for this week are:

1. Make it through the whole week while sticking to my "unemployment schedule" so that I can practice being employed full time. I expect this to help make the transition from lazy bum to work-a-holic a little less stressful

2. Really focus on getting going to the gym and eating meals instead of snacking

3. Actually actively look for and apply to jobs. I have an idea of what my dream job is but I need to put in some resumes in a couple other places as well just for good measure. I need to spend at least an hour a day applying for jobs (otherwise all this other stuff is really really rediculous!)

So its Monday! Go workweek!

Fitting in Blogging

It has become apparent to me that keeping up with Singlutionary and with my writing projects, while working full time is going to be difficult, even after I quit match.com.

Soooooo. I have come up with a few ideas.

1. I only go to the gym Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, Friday. I leave off on Wednesdays to catch up on blogging. And I have Saturday mornings free to blog as I sit around my house being heck lazy and eating breakfast. 

I'll be a two-day-per-week blogger. It'll be great.

Now I've gotta go do a yoga video before its time for lunch. 

Unemployment Timeline

Today is the first day that I did any job-seeking activities since Sunday. Today is Thursday. Today, I have totally fallen off the wagon in regards to my unemployment schedule. Something needed to give. I needed to sleep and catch up on things and also just be lazy. But I made it through three days and I do feel that I am a little bit closer to being able to handle this intense/tight schedule. 

In other words: I'm getting used to it. Maybe next week I can get through the entire week (M-F) without falling apart!

But I've been noticing the things which I do that take up a lot of time and space but don't offer a huge reward or do offer a huge reward but could be done more efficiently. 

Watering the Garden: Once I get my first paycheck, I need to invest in some timers so I can do some of the watering without even being present. I really enjoy watering the garden and I find it incredibly soothing but I don't want to worry about it NOT getting done if something comes up. There will always be things that I do NEED to do myself but if I can get a few things on timers or on drips then the time I spend with the rest of the garden will be shorter (but still therapeutic) and I can still enjoy checking on its progress as often as I want.

Match.com: I am so OVER match.com on so many levels. I have written about this in more detail on my other blog, Singlutionary. But I have decided to keep going until my pre-paid, three month term expires on 5/8/09. It seems that the moment I quit being interested in meeting men, the men started to wink and email me like crazy. I find it both entertaining and annoying at the same time. But since I know that I'm not interested in a serious/intense relationship at this point in time, I've kinda loosened up and I am looking for potential friends. For that reason, I am staying on. I am going to filter all the match.com emails to a folder and deal with them at once in one big chunk when I am in the right mood.

Volunteering: I have spend HOURS volunteering this past year to the point where it was almost a full time job. But its just not as rewarding as I used to be and these little tasks which seem like no big deal can be very disruptive to my day. So I've basically quit. I'd like to help out again the future when I have time. 

Ahhhh. But that brings me to my point (sorry, this post is a little scattered which I think is reflective of my mind right now):

5/8/09 is my date for going back to work! I put it on my calendar. Its actually a Friday which seems a little silly but really its one of those symbolic law-of-attraction kinds of things.

The match.com thing made me realize that a) this past year wasn't a waste but a time to do things I can't get done while working (like starting Singlutionary and my garden) and that I am not *quite* done yet. I still have to iron out a few things in my life before I make the leap back into full time employment. So I've given myself a few weeks. I think that the deadline will also serve to light a little bit more of a fire under me. 

My Expanding Bedtime

For the past year my waistline has been expanding. But now my bedtime is expanding too.

I've only slept a little over 4 hours the past three nights (basically since I started this unemployment schedule thingie). Things unravel after my "rush hour" and there is always a wrench being thrown in somewhere.

I am hopeful, however. I am doing this NOW so that I can have a smooth transition later. 

But one thing I am really seeing is how my time is spent. The past year I've just done stuff because it needed to be done and I didn't really pay attention to what time was going where because it was all important and it all fit. I also had a lot of spare time. There were things to do it was up to me to do them or up to me to blow them off. 

But when time gets scarce, I notice that 4 hours goes to running around town looking for the razor blade refills that go in the recycled plastic razor and swim goggles and Biolage shampoo that doesn't cost too much. I also notice the 30 seconds it takes everytime I walk from the kitchen to move the sprinkler. 

Phew! But I am getting more efficient. This new life is going to force me to cut out the things which aren't essential. And after living a life of non-essential/non-income-producing activity for the past year, I think I'll welcome that right along with the structure.

But it requires a change in my thinking.

For example email (and my sudden and shocking popularity on Match.com) takes up WAY too much of my time. I'm going to start automatically filtering match.com emails and blog subscriptions/comment updates to folders where I can check them at a designated time instead of having to plough through them all day long. 

My Rush Hour

In my post yesterday, I wrote about my unemployment schedule. From 5:30-6:45, I hope to be able to do ALL of the following on a regular basis:

Make Dinner including setting aside a portion for the next day's lunch

Eat Dinner

Cleanup after dinner

Water the Garden

Do My Daily Chore

I know that this can be done but it will take some getting used to and I'll have to be super efficient.

I didn't start my rush hour until 5:45. By 6:15 I had watered half the garden (I just move two or three sprinklers from spot to spot but there are lot of spots) and prepared dinner, putting aside a portion for the next day's lunch.

Watering was made easier because I had already watered the back patio earlier in the day when I found a spare moment. So I guess I cheated a little.

And cooking was made very simple due to some excellent grocery shopping (how am I doing to find time to get to the grocery store in this new life????) and preparation I had done earlier (I had a container of mixed rice and beans in the fridge waiting to be heated up). I even had time to take a few pictures of my quick handywork.

I sat down, ate a couple bites and then went a moved the sprinklers again. I repeated this several times. I know its good to sit down for a full meal, but I also know its good to wait a little bit between bites. I am willing to sacrifice a leisurely dinner so that I can workout later on or write this blog! Also, this only works for me because I'm not afraid of organic dirt. So I don't feel the need to wash my hands after moving the sprinkler.

By 6:45 I had almost finished the watering. All that was left was to turn the spigot off in the backyard. I had cleaned the kitchen and washed all but a few token dishes. All that was left was my chores. Chores for Monday are: pay bills, run errands, laundry, put out recycling.

I had put a load of laundry in before going to Bosslady's and my roommate had moved it to the dryer so all that was left was to put it away. I had also put the recycling out at the curb when I left for bosslady's and the same roommate had pulled the bin in. 

So, I had 15 minutes to: put away laundry and pay bills.

Running errands on Monday will be tricky once I get my full time job. Usually these errands consist of going to the bank/grocerystore/gas station, etc. I could do them on my lunch break but then I wouldn't have the serenity of walking my dog. I could try and do them on the way home from work but that would put me in rush hour traffic (and would cut into my domestic rush hour). Hmmm. Maybe the errands can just be spread out through the week. That is what usually happens anyways.

So, all-in-all, my Rush Hour was a success! YAY. 

Paying bills will be SO MUCH LESS STRESSFUL when I have the income from a full-time job again! Gosh it will be wonderful to just pay bills when they come in and not hold onto them as long as I can and then hope I get my deposits to clear in time. 

Unabashed Unemployment Day 1: The Schedule

Over the weekend, I decided that I need to put myself on a schedule which mimics what my life would be like when I get a full time job. Basically, I'll get up every morning and to to bed every night and take my lunch break and get dressed just like I would if I had my ideal work schedule. 

I am going to do this until I get a full time job.

There are two reasons for doing this:

1. When I get a full time job, it will be in addition to working for Bosslady once she recovers from her car accident (get well soon Bosslady!!) so I will be working about 60 hours a week. Its also important to me that I keep up all my projects, including Singlutionary, and have time for some personal peace. I also want to continue to observe my secular sabbath and keep up my vegetable garden (my new favorite project). SO, I'm going to have to become very efficient-- like raising-six-kids-in-a-studio-apartment efficient-- in order to be able to work, have peace and do the things that are most important to me (writing, homemaking, gardening, hanging with my dog, etc, etc, etc). And because this is a tall order, I figure I better start practicing now so that I don't want to die when I finally do get the job of my dreams.

2. I figure its a good thing to do in that "law of attraction"/The SECRET kind of way. You know, I dress in the clothes I'd like to wear at my ideal job and FEEL like I've already got my ideal job and waddaya know? I suddenly HAVE my ideal job. Poof!

So. Here is my Schedule:

5-5:40AM: Getup, get dressed, eat breakfast, etc

5:40-8AM: Bosslady Stuff (I am still helping Bosslady with some stuff while she is in the hospital which is great because it forces me to get up early!)

8-12PM: Work (during this time, since I don't actually HAVE a job, I can work on projects, look for jobs, apply for jobs or shop for interview clothes. I can NOT sit at home watching Big Love on DVD. I have to be actively engaged in a) things that will help me get a job or b) important projects that I will be pissed off about not having any time to do once I get a job. 

12-1PM: Lunctime (eat a meal that I prepared and packed up the previous night), walk the dog M-W, go to Bosslady's Th-F.

1-5PM: Work (this week its on my yard or getting "ahead on the blogs" although I am not sure how the heck I am going to be able to keep up blogging. Today I went to an acting class.

5:30-6:45PM: Dinner. Put a portion aside for lunch tomorrow. Clean up. Water the yard while things are cooking. Daily chore (I've broken up housework into 4 parts done M-Th). This is going to be the hard part because that is a lot to cram into that period of time, but I know that with practice and preparation, I can do it!

6:45-8PM: Blogging (or grad school applications or other writing project)

8-9:15PM: Swimming at the Gym with my new Gym membership. I choose to go in the evenings because that is when my roommate goes and she motivates me. Also, I plan to shower and get ready for bed directly after swimming (and leave the gym in my pjs) so there is less time wasted on costume changes. 

9:30-10PM: Get ready for bed (I'll have already showered, etc at the gym and I'll have already prepared my lunch for tomorrow so I'll pretty much just need to brush my teeth).

The above is the IDEAL. I am trying to stick to it as closely as possible so I can get into the swing of things. Today I did pretty well until about 3pm (universal siesta time). Right not its 5:48 and I shouldn't be blogging (I have time for that later). I should be in my watering/cooking/cleaning mode. Oops.

Until tomorrow!

Living the Full Time Life

Now that I've decided to go back to work FULL TIME, I need to start practicing. 

Looking for a job is a full time job in and of itself.

So there are two things I am going to do:

1. Live each day as if I were working my ideal full-time work schedule: 9-5, Monday-Friday

2. Do things in the "work" time that I will not have time to do when I go back to work.

So. In order to do #1. I will:

Get up at the same time every "work" day and get dressed in "work" clothes and be out the door in time to get to "work" on time. 

Not stress about finding a job on my days off because I know I've put in a lot of effort during my work week.

And that brings us to the fun part: #2

Things I am going to do while I still have time (that I will be pissed at myself for NOT doing when I had the time when I find myself working 40+ hours a week again and doing nothing productive on the weekends because I am so exhausted from the work week):

1. Go shopping (at Ross and Goodwill) for awesome work clothes for my ideal imaginary job. This, according to the law of attraction will help me find the ideal job where I get to wear my own clothes and look like a hottie all day.

2. Finish long forgotten projects on the house. The first one is to finish putting in my vegetable garden so that even if I don't get a job, I'll at least be able to eat.

3. Get a jump start on getting the junk outta my trunk! I've gained 15 lbs in the past year. I don't need to be carrying that with me everywhere I go. Plus, if I get it off I'll fit into about 80% more of my current wardrobe. 

4. Get the junk outta my car's trunk. And get an oil change. And replace the water pump and do some cosmetic stuff that has been on the backburner for eons. Of course, I do this all myself, so its not expensive. It does, however, take a lot of time. And while I'm at it, I might go ahead a fix the brakes on my beach cruiser bicycle so when I find a job within biking distance I'll be ready to ride to work in my heels and hose.

5. Make a realistic game plan and schedule for all of my other projects. I'm afraid that when I go back to working full time, all my precious projects will fall to the wayside. I need to know that I'll still be able to exercise and walk my dog and water the yard and write my blog and create a singles community and make postcards and keep the house clean and orderly. If I make a gameplan and figure out the details AND start practicing in advance, the transition back to working won't be as traumatic. 

So, there you go! I am going to start my new plan on Monday. Tomorrow is Sunday which is my Secular Sabbath.  

What I've Been Doing (and why its not worth doing anymore)

I'm used to worrying about money. I've been doing it for years. I do that whole get-paid-and-go-deposit-the-check-just-in-time-for-that-other-check-to-not-bounce dance for, uh, five years now. 

But this whole time I have been suffering with the deep faith and whole knowledge that what I was doing with my life and with my time was well worth the struggle.

But now that I have struggled and I have done what I set out to do (more or less), its time to make some money again.

I would be making money through some of the endeavors that I mortgaged my future (and borrowed myself to the max) for except that the economy has eliminated those specific opportunities.

I was a realtor. Yeah. That one needs no explanation these days.

And then I was an actor in a state where all the work has been exported to states that offer better incentives. I moved here when this place was considered "Hollywood South". Now its just another city. 

Plus, I don't know if I even want to be caught up in that image-centric, youth obsessed industry anymore. 

So, yeah. Its time to go back to work. 

This Blog is About . . .

I decided to start another short-term blog in addition to my regular blog Singlutionary. I am unemployed. I have been underemployed for uh, years. I'm an artist, a writer, an actor, a homemaker-of-sorts and so I had other things I was working on this whole time. And they were worth being broke over.

But now its time for me to go back to work full time. I've accomplished what I've set out to accomplish and in order to make the next move (whatever it may be) I need to be debt free with some money in the bank. 

So I need to work again. Of course I choose a time to re-join the workforce when there is NO workforce. This is a time of historic unemployment, blah blah blah.

The good new is that I've been broke so long that a few more months won't matter much to me.

The bad news is that I haven't held a "job" in so long that my resume looks like a patchwork quilt made from scraps. 

So every way, every day that I try to re-enter the workforce (all the while reevaluating my decision to do so) I will blog. I know lots of people are going through the same kind of thing so here is my story. Please feel free to comment, to vent, to suggest and to cry and condemn this system. 

I am still growing vegetables in my backyard and with them I grow the hope that my return to working for "the man" will be short-lived.